Once again Welcome To Ask The Dubb Thursdays. Where our motto is: You Aint Gotta Fake It In Here. Up til today all of our topics have come from women, but tonight we had a guy post a honesty box comment in “Dubbspot Blogsite” On Facebook. So this guy had an anonymous questions he wanted to ask the ladies.
And I Quote:
“When everything is going good in a relationship, why do women always want to define and put titles on what is going on?”
So lets play on that question a little bit.
Guys, do you agree that women want to define everything!?!?
Ladies, Do you feel its not serious unless there are titles involved!?!?
Lets Weigh In… And Welcome To All our New Followers
I think women are like Lebron James. Until they get a title, they feel like they ain't shit!
ReplyDeletemannnnn dats the problem rite there u cant rush perfection u gtta let da ish come to you !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteman no telln wat greatness u can have wit a female if they wasnt so demandin and wantin a mofo title!!!
Oh shit...thats bout real right there anonymous! But mannnn I was just thinking bout this the other day. You know with the weather changing a brother bout needing somebody to cuddle wit. So anyway...I had this young lady I was feeling and I mean feeling her! Im talking about that at work day dreaming about coming home to her, sitting on the sand watching the sunset in the summer and in the log cabin by the fireplace in the winter type feeling her. Everything was going great and then here she come wit all this "when we gon be...when we gon be...WHEN WE GON BE?!?" And she ran me right out the door! Needless to say I AGREE! Women have to define everything no matter the role they play in your life. #thatisall
ReplyDeleteTitles are only for the public....in reality niggas go do what they want regardless of title. So if you aint married women u single. Sorry but thats how it is.
ReplyDeletedam blk u got emotional like a mofo on da
ReplyDeleteay method man said da ish best :
"you dont need a ring to be my wife"
so y cant we put that same word play into utha situations?
my bad my bad...a brother was really feeling shorty tho!
ReplyDeleteOk ok ok !!! Fellas think btw the lines!...as a lady im not so worried about the title and more worried about getting my feelings hurt....FINE I dnt have to be the GF but Mete I bet if u wld have told her what u just posted she would have chilled for a bit titles mean NOTHING both females and males disregard them so for me I jusst need to know what lane im in first off so im not doing stuff I shldt and second so my feelings are protected!!!so keep the title and just give me respect however make it clear what"my place" is....
ReplyDelete.....also I think so females find comfort in titles...for example he may be cheating "but bi#*h im the GF" ....kinda thing.....sad but true!
ReplyDeleteblk i feel you i had a couple ladies like da but yack erased all dem from my memory bank...
ReplyDeleteughhh ohh is da my mansss middle up in dis mofo!!!!
so middle wa you sayin is....
a brotha need to let u noe he wanna deal wit you on his tyme and nothn else?
Exactly mete!!!! dont have me thinking its something its not if u got a main let it b known if u tryna see where it may go say it if u just wanna hit it late night by the dog house BE CLEAR !!! & make sute ur actions match ur words ...if u say were nothing dont text and call me everday...cuz ill start ignoring what u say and rely on ur actions....
ReplyDeletemiddle so u sayin..
ReplyDeleteis if u gnna b the jumpoff jus treat u like a jump off and everything is cool?? :-/
Uhhhh exactly negros need to stop treatin jump offs like GF !! Hell u cld b her jump off 2 men should stop assumin every girls wants something from them!
ReplyDeleteoh oh oh...middleoffhashion be keepin it all the way real! you might need to write a handbook for some of these ladies out here cause they got the game all F'ed. If everybody stay in there lane wont be no wrecks! *waiving my hand* preach sister! Late night by the dog house tho??? lmao
ReplyDeletePlus if u treat a jumpoff like a GF she will start demanding stuff like a GF...IJS!!!
ReplyDeletemiddle wat if as a jump i tell you wa it is but u cant control ur emotions and u be the one wantn more?
ReplyDeleteblk i dun came to realize that middle is a tru freakkkkkkkkkkkkkk
ReplyDeleteSo if we nothing but cut buddies, friends wit benefits, basically just fucking is it not ok for me to txt everyday as long as we talking about sex??
ReplyDelete@blknwb...im def one of the advice givers in my group and ur right females do get it ALL the way wrong most times which im sure im guilty of lol and maybe a book in my future lol yes late night by the dog house saying from a male best friend
ReplyDelete@mete every women is a freak for the right man my comments are REAL not freaky!!& if she is catchin feelings from random sex she is,a dummy prob is ur most likely giving her more...phn convos...dinner...movies...saturdays chillin etc. so again u may b sayin shes a jump off but r u treatin her like one???
ReplyDelete:-o !!!!
ReplyDeleteim not the type to lead one on...
ReplyDeleteMiddle of fashion, I feel you. But like Mete said, most women can't separate emotion from sex, and they come spewing out like air from a punctured balloon. A wise man once said, "women who live vicariously through their vagina only get f$@k3d."
ReplyDeleteUnc P up in this mofo what it is people....
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere up to about something regarding emotions. Thats where it all begins. If a person;s emotion come into play then there is going to always be some confusion. Even if you give a woman the "title" if you are not constantly feeding into those emotions and nurturing those emotions there will always be problems.
Hell sometimes you dont have to give a woman the "title" that mofo just takes it!
We all know that women want security. If that means putting a title on what's going on...then that's what they'll want. Fellas if you don't want her to start pressing the issue, let her know where you stand so she knows what to expect. Again the revolving theme is communication. Without that it's like driving inthe dark...you don't know what lane you're in if the headlights are off. Be clear about what you want people!!
ReplyDeleteIf I am not the girlfriend or the only one, Im not about to be fooling with him. Any REAL woman would not accept anything else unless they are a "jumpoff"
ReplyDeleteOk anonymous ill give u that...a lot of women have issues with seperating the two...but again u have a lot more leg to stand on as man when u have made it clear from the start....this goes vice versa too men assume if the lucked up and got some that women care...but as a women its up to us to be clear as well
ReplyDeletemiddle how long wuld u accept the "side piece" title?
ReplyDeleteTo that "if I'm not the gf or the only one" comment; I've seen many women who just accept what they can get in hopes to get that title via sex. Doesn't make them a jump. Just using what they got to get what they THINK they need. Goes back to what the other anonymous comment was say living through that thang.
ReplyDelete**message** ^^^
ReplyDeleteAs long as I was ok with it ...to b honest ive only played that role once im usually the"main"....but it was cool for what it was we were both honest we stayed in our lanes and it is what it is NOTHING!..we will always b cool cuz he was honest and so was I ....i chose that role cuz I didnt want anything else...to b honest dnt see myself doing it again
ReplyDeleteI think titles are necessary because they give you a clear understanding of what your boundaries are. If you putting in time with me on a regular bases then im going to consider you my man. But I would like that to be determined and talked about between two of us.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Middleoffashion about being clear on where we stand because like she said not all females are out here looking to bag a husband. Sometimes we just want someone around for late night action too. Just being honest!
ump middle we need more real sista like u in these streets...
ReplyDeleteLol thx Mete :) I try and keep it real!!!
ReplyDeletebitch 1
ReplyDeletebitch 2
bitch 3
ect.
there go your titles!
^^^Wow...triplets I guess.
ReplyDeleteDamn Too Short
ReplyDelete@MzDee...I can see where you say titles make things easier to understand but the problem be when some females find out what they title is they are disappointed and wanna get all psycho on a brother!
ReplyDeletelmao @ too short!
ReplyDelete@Blknwb thats why you need to be honest with her up front. And again like Middleoffashion said, dont send mixed signals. If its just sex, leave it at that. Dont call/text everyday trying to kick it. If you dealing with a female who is not happy with the title or she want something your not ready to give her leave her alone.
ReplyDeleteShort Story: there was a guy slightly older than me that I started messing around with in tenth grade. I was REALLY digging this dude and I wanted to fuck too so we did. I even cheated onn an ex with this guy...was willing to be with him even though I never experienced an orgasm with him. I was digging on him extra hard! I was cool with doing what we were doing but then I started asking mself wth is this? I had a hard time with it u feel me? But after fucking with (or just fucking) this guy on and off for like 5 years I thought to myself about how we never really chilled, we visited each other at night, etc. I said fuck it I'm gonna quit waiting in vain on this dude! And he became thought of as my sex toy. Feelings were out the window and all that shit. I've been there with tht emotional stuff but now? If its just a fuck then I'm cool with that. Keep it real with yourself nigga and we good! I don't care about a title and I feel like one word doesn't validate all the time and effort on the part of both involved.
ReplyDeletedam...thats deep!!!!!
ReplyDeletejane did u eva tell da brotha how i felt???
so jane doe what u saying is...u wanted more than just fucking but u aint speak up about and when u realized it was just fuckin and u came to grips with it...u said fuck it "party on"
ReplyDelete@MzDee...sometimes when you honest tho you loose the benefits!! How do you get around that obstacle?
ReplyDeleteyou cant @blknwb... thats why you gotta sell em the dream
ReplyDelete@ mete yep. I didn't see the need to nag him about it though. But when we got into a small argument about it once tht was more than enuff confirmation for me. Even then with a high school environment I wasn't on no "when we gonna b together" type ish. I just wanted him to know tht I was feeling him on some "more than friends" type of deal. *shrugs* u live and u learn and learn to keep living.
ReplyDeletelol ahhhhhh ^^^^
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on what that chick has been through on what you can feed to her. If she just came out of a long-term relationship. she may not want anything serious, so she may be cool with the friends with benefits. but if she aint never had a steady relationship, she's gonna want to settle down asap, BC she feels like she is missing something
ReplyDeletedam jane u rite ish happens...
ReplyDeletesounds like u gave up tho?
Then you need to count that as a loss and move on to the next one. If you pump their head up with lies or mislead them your going to end up hurting her feelings and thats probably when she is going to go psycho!! Lol
ReplyDeleteso in other words anonymous what you saying is that you just gotta tell em what they wanna hear?? its a few ladies in here that say that aint the way to go...just keep it real wit them up front! how you handle that?
ReplyDelete@ blknwb what I'm saying is tht I eventually wanted more than friends and when I spoke up about it (only once tht I remember) it didn't go well...and yeah I got over it in other words and kept doing me. Part of me felt like he was stringing me along so when I started spending time with other guys he felt some kind of way about it. Talked shit about every guy I was involved with.
ReplyDeletebitches aint trying to hear the truth point blank pussy period.
ReplyDelete1 woman get my heart da others get da pipe!!!!!!
ReplyDelete@jane doe thats real...some guys dont want u in that way but dont wanna see u wit somebodyelse either! smh @ those brothers
ReplyDeleteWhy do SIDE CHICKS catch MAIN CHICK emotions???
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty @blknwb if it aint the main joint, it doesnt matter what you tell her.... If I havent given you a title its for a reason. You're obviously somebody I dont wanna wife up.
ReplyDeleteanonymous @ 7:43pm London Time...*waiving my hand*
ReplyDeletejane why u culdnt let tyme run its course dayumm yall culdve been like ike and tina will and jada carl and harriet florida and james homer and marge jay and bey weed and dutch hennh and coke
ReplyDelete@ mete I charged it to the game basically. I think he was stuck on how he thought women SHOULD b...maybe he couldn't get with dating a tomboy type of chick which is cool...to each his or her own...but I have my theories as to y it didn't work out. But to this day, he probably thinks I would give him the biz in a heartbeat but no...if anything I'd make him get on his knees and taste the rainbow, nah mean? Its all good tho...aint no love lost over here. I'm not feeling him like tht tho anymore.
ReplyDeleteso you turned gay on em??? wtf???
ReplyDelete@ blknwb true! I'm not hating on him nor the next chick u know? I went to a concert earlier this year and yahzarah said, "I believe every good woman has been a jumpoff. YOU've been a jump off (rAndomly pointing into crowd), YOU'VE been a jumpoff." I was like man thts some real shit. So whatever dude thinks of or thought of me is irrelevant, tho I d appreciate the time spent. Lessons learned, his loss. As far as I'm concerned I'm the best he never had (not in a beyonce way...eff her hehehe)
ReplyDelete@ mete lol u silly. I could have done that but ultimately I realized he wasn't the guy for me. He couldn't handle my "philosophical" (as he called it) side...he wanted to try to make me into his own image and I wasn't having tHt shit. I think he likes submissive women...and here he was dealing with a woman that had (still has) a man's state of mind.
lmao @ carl and harriet...homer and marge! lmao @ all that shit! but on some real ish for my ladies...when you say "im the main" are you acknowledging that he has side pieces and is that ok! I've been told "well as long as im #1 it dont matter" but when they find out bout #2 they girls gon wild on a brother! wassup wit dat?
ReplyDeleteOh and @middleoffashion when u finish that REAL WOMAN handbook can I have a few copies! wanna slap some ppl in the forhead wit it!
ReplyDeleteLmbo nah he had nothing to do with my dating women...that happened long after him. I just moved on to other guys. I would dare date someone that is not nearly as freaky as me. Never seen a guy freak out if his own nut touched him. Like why would u expect a girl to want yo shit on her when u won't even touch it urself?
ReplyDelete@blknwb lol no prob!!!
ReplyDeletebecause of the thirst for titles and its the weekend...if you get a call around 11:30pm and he ask what u doing later consider yo title side piece, jump off, or last option depending on that brother situation!
ReplyDeleteLMAO... If you never get taken out in public... consider yourself the side piece.
ReplyDelete